Friday, August 23, 2013

Granny My Hero

All day I've been contemplating on what to put on Facebook, in memory of Granny.  I still haven't put anything up, I've been in one of those blah moods all day.  I knew I should have dragged my tired, lazy, bigger butt out of bed at 4:45 a.m. today to go for a run.  Yesterday was a rest day.  Well a rest day as in I was at one of my best friends house selling some fabulous, hard to find jeans and guess what I met my goal for the month!  AND I still have 2 parties left for August!  Welcome back jeans season - where have you been all summer :)  Back to my point - I didn't crawl out of bed today to run and I so regret it.  I have a lot on my mind today, so it is possible that you will get the pleasure of reading two posts today.

If you follow my status updates on Facebook, you will already know that when everyone else is celebrating the start of summer and looking forward to it, I look at summer differently these last three years.  I used to be the one that counted down the days until Memorial Weekend, the official start of summer, not anymore, that all changed three years ago, and three years ago today my family lost the third member of our family that year, my Granny.

I remember when I was in grade school, and again in college, I had to write a paper on who my hero was.  It was always and still is my grandma.  She played a huge role in my life as a toddler, child, teenager and an adult.  You see, with grandma, everyone knew where they stood, everything was black and white with her.  If she had something to say she shared it, and if it hurt your feelings, well, she was entitled to her god damn opinion.  Her words, not mine.  It's true, my grandma would voice her opinion about everything, if she didn't like the latest color you dyed your hair, she would let you know and don't even get me started on how she felt about my make-up!

Our family was always so close.  Ok, I take that back, us cousins were always so close, practically grew up together.  Now my aunts and uncles, well that's a different story.  Granny was a strong woman, surviving many open heart surgeries, living through all the hell her kids put her through, the heartache they caused on occasion.  But one thing about her, no matter how pissed off her kids would get at her and practically disown her, if they showed up on her door step she would open the door for them and put it all behind.  I remember her last hospital stay, I got a call that they were taking her from Denison to St. Joe, now Creighton Hospital, in Omaha, and didn't know if she would survive.  The entire family, including all of us grandkids filled her room, many of us sitting on the floor, waiting for her team of doctors to arrive and talk to us her about what was happening.  I remember the look on her doctors face when he opened the door and saw all 15 of us in her little room, I'm sure it was quite the surprise.  But like I said, my family was always close to grandma.

I came across this yesterday and thought back to that day in the hospital:

Having only one grandparent in my life, for the majority of it, I thought the world of grandma.  She was certainly one of a kind.  She invited everyone into her home, encouraged them to call her Mom or Grandma. She'd offer you a glass of tea in a mason jar and if you refused it, she'd probably say something along the lines of Well what the hell's the matter with you.  She cussed and she enjoyed her Vodka/Squirts, you know, like any grandma did.  What?  Not all grandma's are like that?  Well who knew!

I could call her up or show up at her house anytime I needed to and she listened, she comforted me and just let me sob or carry on without interrupting me.  On a day, not much different then today, about two years after Roach had passed, I walked through her front door and she said what she always said, "Oh, Julie Anna" she took one look at me and stood up and put her arms around me and just let me talk about how incredibly confused I was and how much hatred I had in me.  And guess what, she let me go on like that for a good hour, until I had it all out of me.  Then of course she asked me if I was hungry and if so I knew where the food was.  Oh Granny......

It wasn't until her funeral that I realized someone pointed it out that I'm a lot like grandma, in so many ways. I overheard a comment about the slideshow and music that I put together, the table filled with different pictures of grandma and everyone in her life and how she was always taking pictures whenever they stopped to visit her.  So friends and family, thank granny for me being stubborn and opinionated, but also for loving and caring with all my heart.  You can also thank her for my mad cooking skills (hey sometimes I can actually cook), and my ability to make any dessert.

So in memory of my Granny, I decided I had more feelings to get out then a post on Facebook.  I know she is proud of the person I am today.  I love you Granny and miss you terribly.

<3 Julie

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