2014 Letting ME Be Happy

As we ring in the New Year, watching the ball drop and the neighbors let off fireworks, I look back on 2013, the good times, bad times, happy, sad, disappointments.  I make a promise to myself for 2014.  That by the end I will be reflecting on a wonderful year. 2014 will be bringing a new business adventure, new friends, old friends and many happy moments. As I start 2014, I've already started working on the things and the people who contribute to me being happy.  Hugs were given, texts were sent, and registration for my Lincoln Half Marathon are already done. 2014 - you are going to be my year!

Happy New Year!

Emotions

What I've learned these past few weeks, no matter how much you run or how often you run, it will never take away your feelings or fix your problems.

No One Quite Like a Runner

Before I started running, whenever I would see someone out running, I'd think,  I wish I could run.  Finally in 2010, I worked up enough courage to start running.  I remember the first day I stepped on a treadmill, I couldn't even run for 5 minutes.  Over the next few months running became easier for me, something I actually enjoyed doing.  My first 5k was the Council Bluffs 5K and Half Marathon, running along the route I thought, these people are encouraging me and they don't even know me.  As I neared the finish line I heard people yelling, you're almost there, keep pushing, you're doing great, again, complete strangers.  It was then I realized that there is no one quite like a runner.  They are friendly, giving high fives as you come across the finish line, handing you a water.  They are encouraging, many walk back down the route to cheer others on. They are supportive, when you feel like giving up, they tell you it's almost over and you'll feel better as soon as you cross that line.

I'm a member of an online running group and the support we offer each other is outstanding.  People from across the nation encouraging, motivating, supporting other runners, whether you started yesterday and ran for 2 minutes or you've been running for many years.

It's Gage's first year in cross country, and recently I was talking with a senior who has been running cross country for 4 years and she said the same thing about their team, there is nothing like our little group, it's like we are family, we do everything together.

I noticed yesterday at that first meet, that the high school kids stuck around and really encouraged the junior high kids, who were just starting out.  They ran around the course cheering them on, letting them know they were doing a great job.  It reminded me again, that runners are some of the friendliest people you will ever meet.  

A FRESHMAN?!

I can't believe I have a Freshman!  It's really not possible is it?  I mean I'm only 28 years old :) Looking through my news feed today earlier this week,  all the pictures of my friends sending their kid off to preschool, and I remember the day I sent Dylan to his first day.  I thought he would be scared and wouldn't want me to leave him, but it was the exact opposite.  I was scared, my little boy riding the bus with all these older kids, walking to his classroom without me by his side.  As soon as he walked away, the tears started, how could my boy be growing up so fast?

It's not preschool, but look how little he was!

Fast forward to this year, first day of school was Monday and much like his first day of preschool, I dropped him off for his first day of high school, ok, ok, he had physical therapy in the morning so I had to take him to school, when he turned and walked through those high school doors the tears started, my little boy is growing up, soon he'll be driving by himself and wouldn't need me to transport him to his activities.  In the blink of an eye he'll be graduating and going off to college, living on his own.

<3 Julie

Granny My Hero

All day I've been contemplating on what to put on Facebook, in memory of Granny.  I still haven't put anything up, I've been in one of those blah moods all day.  I knew I should have dragged my tired, lazy, bigger butt out of bed at 4:45 a.m. today to go for a run.  Yesterday was a rest day.  Well a rest day as in I was at one of my best friends house selling some fabulous, hard to find jeans and guess what I met my goal for the month!  AND I still have 2 parties left for August!  Welcome back jeans season - where have you been all summer :)  Back to my point - I didn't crawl out of bed today to run and I so regret it.  I have a lot on my mind today, so it is possible that you will get the pleasure of reading two posts today.

If you follow my status updates on Facebook, you will already know that when everyone else is celebrating the start of summer and looking forward to it, I look at summer differently these last three years.  I used to be the one that counted down the days until Memorial Weekend, the official start of summer, not anymore, that all changed three years ago, and three years ago today my family lost the third member of our family that year, my Granny.

I remember when I was in grade school, and again in college, I had to write a paper on who my hero was.  It was always and still is my grandma.  She played a huge role in my life as a toddler, child, teenager and an adult.  You see, with grandma, everyone knew where they stood, everything was black and white with her.  If she had something to say she shared it, and if it hurt your feelings, well, she was entitled to her god damn opinion.  Her words, not mine.  It's true, my grandma would voice her opinion about everything, if she didn't like the latest color you dyed your hair, she would let you know and don't even get me started on how she felt about my make-up!

Our family was always so close.  Ok, I take that back, us cousins were always so close, practically grew up together.  Now my aunts and uncles, well that's a different story.  Granny was a strong woman, surviving many open heart surgeries, living through all the hell her kids put her through, the heartache they caused on occasion.  But one thing about her, no matter how pissed off her kids would get at her and practically disown her, if they showed up on her door step she would open the door for them and put it all behind.  I remember her last hospital stay, I got a call that they were taking her from Denison to St. Joe, now Creighton Hospital, in Omaha, and didn't know if she would survive.  The entire family, including all of us grandkids filled her room, many of us sitting on the floor, waiting for her team of doctors to arrive and talk to us her about what was happening.  I remember the look on her doctors face when he opened the door and saw all 15 of us in her little room, I'm sure it was quite the surprise.  But like I said, my family was always close to grandma.


I came across this yesterday and thought back to that day in the hospital:

Having only one grandparent in my life, for the majority of it, I thought the world of grandma.  She was certainly one of a kind.  She invited everyone into her home, encouraged them to call her Mom or Grandma. She'd offer you a glass of tea in a mason jar and if you refused it, she'd probably say something along the lines of Well what the hell's the matter with you.  She cussed and she enjoyed her Vodka/Squirts, you know, like any grandma did.  What?  Not all grandma's are like that?  Well who knew!

I could call her up or show up at her house anytime I needed to and she listened, she comforted me and just let me sob or carry on without interrupting me.  On a day, not much different then today, about two years after Roach had passed, I walked through her front door and she said what she always said, "Oh, Julie Anna" she took one look at me and stood up and put her arms around me and just let me talk about how incredibly confused I was and how much hatred I had in me.  And guess what, she let me go on like that for a good hour, until I had it all out of me.  Then of course she asked me if I was hungry and if so I knew where the food was.  Oh Granny......

It wasn't until her funeral that I realized someone pointed it out that I'm a lot like grandma, in so many ways. I overheard a comment about the slideshow and music that I put together, the table filled with different pictures of grandma and everyone in her life and how she was always taking pictures whenever they stopped to visit her.  So friends and family, thank granny for me being stubborn and opinionated, but also for loving and caring with all my heart.  You can also thank her for my mad cooking skills (hey sometimes I can actually cook), and my ability to make any dessert.

So in memory of my Granny, I decided I had more feelings to get out then a post on Facebook.  I know she is proud of the person I am today.  I love you Granny and miss you terribly.

<3 Julie

Old Man Wandering About

So last night, while hobbling down the street in my running gear and knee brace, a neighbor who see's me hobble by a few times a week shouts out, "boy, women will do anything to get out of doing the dishes".  I shouted back at the old man, I'm sure they'll be there when I return.  Apparently this old man hasn't read my blog, or my posts on Facebook, because if he had, he would know that I do the dishes, laundry, housework, yard work, trim hedges, change light bulbs, take out the trash, call the repair man, volunteer my time, work full time as a legal assistant during the day and sell jeans at night, all the while raising 2 boys and a dog, and maintaining my health, and I do believe that qualifies me for a run lasting 30 minutes each day.

I realize he may have just been commenting because who else in their right mind would be running in the heat and humidity AND a knee brace, but it just rubbed me wrong.  Had it been a friend or someone that I see daily, then it's a different story, too bad he didn't see me out for my run at 5:00 a.m. today, I'm sure the comment would have been something about getting out of making breakfast.

 

My Ability to Run

Last week I told you about getting up at 5:30 a.m. to start running, and I actually did get up and out of bed and ran at least 2 miles three times last week!  I don't know if you know this or not, but I actually used to run a few miles a week, and I mean a few.  I trained and actually completed a half marathon, it was at that time my weekly mileage was pretty high.  Running five miles a day was a walk in the park for me.  I was also in the best shape of my life.  But that was then and this is now, or at least that is what I keep telling myself.  Life got in the way of my running and there were times when I would only run a few times a month.  A few times meaning less than once a week.

Last week was frustrating to say the least, struggling to get 2 miles in during a run is basically starting over for me, it's depressing, but it's also my own fault.  I'm the one who let running be something I used to do.  I'm the one who gained a few, 5, okay 10 extra pounds because I would tell myself I'm too exhausted to get out and run.  So this morning when the alarm went off at 5:30 a.m., after only a few hours of sleep, I reminded myself, that saying I'm too exhausted for my own health is just an excuse.  So out the door I went.  I wasn't feeling it at all, but pushing snooze 10 times until 6:30 a.m. wasn't going to get me any more sleep, so I might as well get out and run.  I put in a little over a mile and promised myself I'd get out later today and do 3.

I've realized when you have a goal or a race you are training for, running and sticking to a schedule is so much easier.  I've been looking a some virtual runs, here, and will probably sign up for a few of them, because look at all that bling!  I would really like to get registered for another half sometime in the spring, a Disney half is on my bucket list, hmmm, maybe a birthday present to myself....

<3 Julie